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12 Step Recovery Forum
"Suppose you were deeply hurt in a relationship.
The lingering pain you feel won't allow you to express your love,
keeping you guarded and insecure.
Take these feelings into your heart.
Remember, it's not the specific issue that's causing you pain anymore.
It's the emotional significance you assigned
to it back then and have reinforced all these years.
By now the pain is just energy that needs to be
transformed so that you can be free to express your love again."
Doc Childre and Howard Martin, The HeartMath ® Solution, © 1999
************************
I
don't always get to know why things happen.
I
may spend hours, even days, trying to figure out
why
bad things have happened to me.
I
may get caught up in trying to understand other people,
situations,
and even my own thoughts.
Today
I will accept that I don't have to know
why
things are the way they are.
Instead
I can pay attention to healing, growing, and learning.
from
the book, Time to Break Free
by
Judith R. Smith copyright 1999
Only A Rose...
A flower of God's design,
But I can't unfold the petals,
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The way
of unfolding flowers
Is not
known to such as I,
The
flower God opens sweetly
In my
hands would surely die.
If I
can't unfold a rosebud,
This
flower of God's design -
Then
how can I have wisdom
to unfold
this life of mine?
So I
will trust him to lead me
Each
moment of every day,
And
I'll ask him to guide me
Each
step of the way.
For the
pathway before me
My heavenly
Father knows,
And
I'll trust him to unfold it
Just
as He unfolds the rose.
THE BEAUTY
WAY
I guess I'm likely to put anything in my body!
I love spicy foods and Mexican foods in particular. I've "treated" friends to my favorite homemade
spicy dishes. A typical reaction to a dish bathed in my
hot sauce goes like this: they smile and enthusiastically
try a bite; their eyes open far too wide,
they begin to sweat profusely and reach for the water to
put out the flames in their stomachs; then, when voice and reason
return, they nod and politely say, "Tasty." They usually don't
come back.
One person commented, "I've heard of people who preach
hellfire,
but you're the only one I know who hands out samples."
Well, maybe it's not quite that bad, but I'm likely to eat most any
kind of food. And, though I exercise regularly, my body is
starting to tell me to be more selective in my diet. I like the
woman who stepped off the scale and was asked by her husband what
the verdict was. "According to the height table," she replied, "I
should be about six inches taller."
But more important than the food we put into our bodies
are
thoughts we put into our minds. Thoughts of bitterness like, "I
HATE her!" Thoughts of despair like, "I'll never be happy again."
Thoughts of fear like, "I could NEVER do that!" And thoughts of
worry, thoughts of greed and thoughts of self-loathing. A
constant diet of these killer-thoughts will destroy us long
before cholesterol.
The Navajo people have an expression for this. They traditionally
believe that how they fill their minds will shape their lives. So
they want to fill their minds only with that which is good,
harmonious and edifying. They speak of "thinking in the Beauty
Way" -- ridding their minds of all that is destructive and
filling them with that which is good and peaceful. The Beauty Way
is the way of love and contentment, peace and kindness, patience
and courage.
What are you putting into your mind? James Lane Allen
has said,
"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be
tomorrow where your thoughts take you." Fill your mind with
life-affirming thoughts and tomorrow will find you further along
the Beauty Way.
© 2001 Steve Goodier
Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.
One was an optimistic soul.
But the other took the gloomy view.
"We'll drown," he lamented without much ado,
and with a last despairing cry,
he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye."
Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin,
"I can't get out but I won't give in,
I'll just swim around till my strength is spent,
then I'll die the more content."
Bravely he swam to work his scheme,
and his struggles began to churn the cream.
The more he swam, his legs a flutter,
the more the cream turned into butter.
On top of the butter at last he stopped,
and out of the bowl he gaily hopped.
at is the moral? It's easily found...
If you can't hop out, keep swimming around!
*****************************
"
I expect to pass through this world but once.
Any
good therefore that I can do, or any kindness
or
abilities that I can show to any fellow creature,
let
me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it,
for
I shall not pass this way again. "
William Penn
*****************************
If Tomorrow Never Comes
If I knew it would
be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in
more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would
be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a
hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would
be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would videotape
each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would
be the last time I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I
love you," instead of assuming, you would know I do.
If I knew it would
be the last time I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll
have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's
always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get
a second chance to make everything right.
There will always be
another day to say our "I love you's",
And certainly there's
another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"
But just in case I
might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how
much I love you and I hope we never forget,
Tomorrow is not promised
to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the
last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.
For if tomorrow never
comes, you'll surely regret the day
So if you're waiting
for tomorrow, why not do it today?
That you didn't take
that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy
to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved
ones close today, whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much
you love them and that you'll always hold them dear,
Take time to say "I'm
sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never
comes, you'll have no regrets about today.
A Garden
Good friends are the flowers
And time spent together,
Life's happiest hours.
And friendship,
like flowers,
Blooms
ever more fair,
When
carefully tended
By dear
friends, who care.
The Butterfly
Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.
And we could never fly...
Talking
To A Teddy Bear
Teddy, I've been bad again,
My Mommy told me so;
I'm not quite sure what I did wrong,
But I thought that you might know.
When I woke up this morning,
I knew that she was mad;
Cause she was crying awful hard,
And yelling at my dad.
I tried my best to be real good,
And do just what she said;
I cleaned my room all by myself,
I even made my bed.
But I spilled milk on my good shirt,
When she yelled at me to hurry;
And I guess she didn't hear me,
When I told her I was sorry.
Cause she hit me awful hard, you see,
And called me funny names;
And told me I was really bad,
And I should be ashamed.
When I said, "I love you, Mommy,"
I guess she didn't understand;
Cause she yelled at me to shut my mouth.
Or I'd get smacked again.
So I came up here to talk to you,
Please tell me what to do;
Cause I really love my Mommy,
And I know she loves me, too.
And I don't think my Mommy means,
To hit me quite so hard;
I guess sometimes, grown ups forget.
How really big they are.
So Teddy, I wish you were real,
And you weren't just a bear;
Then you could help me find a way.
To tell Mommies every where.
To please try hard to understand.
How sad it makes us feel;
Cause the outside pain soon goes a way,
But the inside never heals.
And if we could make them listen,
Maybe then they'd understand;
So other children just like me,
Wouldn't have to hurt again.
But for now, I guess I'll hold you tight,
And pretend the pain's not there;
I know you'd never hurt me,
So Goodnight, Teddy Bear...
Cindy Pike Dunning
Little Note From John;
As I put this page together ...
I took a journey...
Along the way,
I both laughed
and
I cried.
I am so grateful for recovery...
For before I entered the rooms..
It was as though I had died.
All I had were the frozen emotions,
I had spent years stuffing inside.
You helped me thaw them out...
sort through them,
one by one...
Helped me define which of them were mine,
And encouraged me to let go of the ones I had
adopted from others...
You stood by me as I was restored to sanity
Like real sisters and brothers...
Thank you for letting me come home.
John