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Please
note: Miracles In Progress Family Teen Group
provides information to teens to teach them to
make correct and healthy decisions!
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So why do I feel
like I do?
Lust is
simply when you feel attracted to someone on a sexual level.
Infatuation is when you idealize the other person to the
extent that they take over your whole world.
Love
happens when there is action. The feeling must be mutual. Our personal
definitions of love are constructed out of feelings and thoughts that
we learned in childhood. How we experience and express love is the
result of our interactions with parents, family and friends.
The following emotions
are often experienced when an individual feels love for someone else:
happiness, exhilaration, excitement and joy. It may also be
accompanied by negative feelings such as nervousness, insecurity and
anxiety. Some people even feel butterflies in their stomach.
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The shadow side of
love is that it can also bring up feelings of anger, frustration,
jealousy and separation anxiety (which means that you can't stand
being without the individual.) These feelings however also often
accompany infatuation. If you feel you must own or control another
person, it is not love. True love gives the other individual his
or her soul freedom.
In a strong
relationships the good will outweigh the bad aspects most of the
time. However, realize you are a teen, and often your
relationships will develop negative aspects so that you can learn
from them. This is part of your journey towards finding a true
soul mate in life.
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There is a difference
between loving someone and being in love with him or her. Being "in
love with someone" is unique to every different soul on earth. Usually
you experience elation or joy when you are with them and feel that you
are somehow divinely connected. Sometimes it feels like fate or like
you already have known the person in another life.
However, be careful about
feeling entitled to being with a person as some stalkers and obsessed
types have thought they were in love while they were pursuing their
victims. If one person feels a lot of love and the other does not,
the results can be disastrous. If a person tells you that they don't
share your feelings, then take the hint and let them go. The reality
may very well be that the person is just not interested. If the
feelings are not mutual, beware of developing false hopes and
expectations and dragging on the relationship. The longer this charade
goes, the more somebody is likely to get hurt
When you do find that
special someone, make sure to set aside some time to be together, but
also save time to be by yourself. This alone time is crucial for good
self-development. It also stops you from being swallowed up by the
identity of your partner. Many people identify so much with the loved
one, that they forget their own path in life. This is how you develop
an unhealthy condition called codependency with your significant
other.
So when you find
yourself questioning " Why do I feel like this?" take a moment, and
take a look at both sides of the relationship.
Do He/She feel
the same as I do?
Does it feel good
inside when I am around the other person?
Do I have my own
hobbies, friends, likes and dislikes?
Am I spending
too much time with them?
Do I feel
pressured to have sex?
Do I feel safe?
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How can Miracles In Progress Family Teens Group Help Me?
Here, on MIP, you will find other teens, who are affected by someone else's alcoholism or addiction, sharing not only the pain of such a hard situation, but also their hopes, dreams, experiences and strengths. We have a message board, resource listings, fun links and a chat room hosted by the most loving people.
The pain of having a family member caught in the mere of alcoholism or addiction is one of the most severe suffering one ever endures. It effects the whole family. Not just the person who is alcoholic or addict.
Our well-being is adversely affected by someone else's alcohol or drug abuse. The pain can be overpowering. It is agonizing. It is NORMAL. Everyone’s family is unique but everyone’s pain is the same. Alcoholism or Addiction is a friend to no one.
What is Family Teens Group? It's a place where peers in an online chat room environment teaches that you have "permission to feel, heal and recover". A place where you learn that the emotions you can't understand are seen in a "mirror image" of someone describing exactly what you are going through, and you say to yourself, "that's ME they are describing". So you learn you are not crazy - that the thoughts of the alcoholic or addict, the home, family, etc, that consumes you from the moment you wake from sleep, that finally comes after endless waking hours, are not only yours. You don't have a
monopoly on the fears, hurts, anger, disappointments, or shame. It's a place where you find that every word you heard in the beginning and could not believe yourself, suddenly are spoken by you to someone else you see that is in pain and you realize, "that's ME talking" ....now it becomes a place where you have learned that by receiving the support and understanding that helped you get through the pain (of having a alcoholic or addict family member) you are now helping someone who is where you have been. It's a place where you CAN recover from the pain, move away from old survival skills and learn new living skills.
It’s a place of belonging.
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Do You have any short stories or poems that you would like to share about teens? e-mail them to: ftg@12stepforums.net
Please no attachments |
Links Related to Teen Issues
A Game Arcade is available from the Teens
Message Board!
| Find a safe environment. If you
find yourself avoiding your house as much as possible, or if you're
thinking about running away, consider whether you feel in danger at
home. If you feel that the situation at home is becoming dangerous, you
can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. And
never hesitate to dial 911 if you think you or another family member is
in immediate danger.
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